Manitou Springs Issues Resolution Calling for Denver to Bus Immigrants There Instead of Colorado Springs

A Potential Solution to the Growing Immigrant Crisis in Denver?

(Manitou Springs) During a special worksession convened last night by Manitou Springs mayor John Graham, the city council unanimously approved a resolution inviting Denver to send immigrants to Manitou Springs instead of nearby Colorado Springs.

"Look. We get it," said Graham to a single microphone outside City Hall. "There's a lot of migrants in Denver. Too many. We can help." Graham explained Manitou Springs has had a wildly successful affordable housing program for years. The city also has seen the development of multiple, new hotels.

He said because of those two factors, "Manitou Springs has room for at least a thousand immigrants. Send 'em on over!"

He also noted the addition of the new hotels will provide space for immigrants to "rest, relax, and recuperate." The mayor also said immigrants were being provided "tons of free stuff, man!" and that this shouldn't take away from the city's approved buskers and panhandlers living alongside the city's growing homeless population.

Denver Mayor Mike Johnston expressed confused delight when informed of Manitou Springs' invitation to accept immigrants. "Yes! Wait a minute," he paused.

"Is Manitou a sanctuary city?" he audibly whispered to a staff aide.

"No, sir," said the staffer, "but it is a very progressive city.”

"Ahh, makes sense!" remarked Johnston. "Well, ship 'em to Manitou!"

The next round of immigrants bused from across the American border is expected this weekend. Johnston said he had already faxed the Manitou Springs resolution to Texas governor Greg Abbott and hopes he can divert some of the buses away from Colorado Springs and towards Manitou Springs, which is five miles west of the bigger city.

Colorado Springs mayor Yemi Mobolade, when asked by phone about the details of Manitou Springs' resolution replied, "I am listening. I am thinking about this. I think we need a new police academy. Immigrants could help us with voting, financing, and building it! What a great idea!"

"I love when we can solve problems," said Manitou Springs Mayor Graham at the conclusion of his press conference. "We got room. We got new hotels. We got affordable housing. We got it all, baby!"

(.ERITAS A SI SIHT)